Once upon a time,
Not so long ago,
The seas were ruled by evil men,
Pirates, don't you know?

The meanest pirate on the sea,
Was a man called Kneeless John.
His crew was the fiercest of them all,
Like Hell's own demon spawn.

From the riggings his lookout spied,
A crate out on the sea.
"Come about and pick it up,
Let's see what it might be!"

They hauled the crate onto the deck
And gathered all about.
'Crack it open!" cried Kneeless John.
There was thunder in his shout.

They used a hammer and an ax,
And cracked it open wide.
A hush fell over the pirate crew,
A baby was inside.

There was a boy, all wrapped in rags,
Down inside that crate.
The pirates all wondered - some aloud,
How it came to such a fate.

A note was pinned onto the rags,
The Captain read it aloud;
"My name is Everett," is what it said.
There was laughter in the crowd.

"Everett?" cried out a pirate,
Slapping his hook againt his knee.
"What kind of name is Everett,
For a pirate out at sea?"

"Lefty's right," said Kneeless John,
"This boy will rule the waves.
We need a name that speaks of heroes,
Of men both wise and brave."

"How about Stinky?" said one man,
"The kids I know all smell.
They stink so bad it's hard to know
If they are sick or well."

"How about Crusty?" asked another,
"The babes I know all ooze.
That muck all dries and putrefies,
And looks like chewed up food."

Those names won't do!" roared Kneeless John.
"This boy will be a King at sea!
His name will be Andrew Charles,
And we'll shorten it to AC."

AC grew strong, AC grew big.
He learned about the sea.
The pirates all respected him,
He was the best a pirate can be.

And then one day, after many years,
Kneeless John had had enough.
He chose to leave his pirate ship,
And packed up all his stuff.

AC steered to some misty isles,
And took Kneeless John ashore.
They stood together on the sand,
Comrades in arms - and more.

"Yer a good lad," the Captain said.
"Yer kind don't grow on trees.
And that is something especially nice,
Since I found you out at sea."

AC looked 'round, all up and down,
And mumbled "That is nice to hear."
He hugged the Captain and turned around,
His eyes all full of tears.

AC returned to the ship,
And commanded like a man.
His pirate crew all got rich,
As only pirates can.

But pirate life was not as neat,
Now Kneeless John was gone.
AC took good care of his crew,
But it was time to move along.

He sold the ship and paid his crew,
And took back the name Everett.
He left the sea and went inland,
As far as he could get.

And now sometimes, late at night,
Everett still dreams of the sea.
He misses his old pirate life,
When he was called AC.