During their childhood, I had tried to be the 'cool uncle,' but I am not cool. So I decided to play to my strengths and work on being the 'cruel uncle,' at which I excel. This is Ryan, desperately trying to learn how to make a piece of bull kelp snap like a bullwhip. Every child - properly encouraged - tries this, because bull kelp looks so much like a bullwhip. But lookin' ain't bein', and kelp has a NASTY tendency of coming back into your head or face if not whipped exactly perfectly. There are few things funnier than teenagers whipping themselves stupid, all to the encouragement of a man who knows better. 'Come on, guys! Try it again. That is just a flesh wound - wash it out with seawater, that'll make it stop bleeding.'