I was up first that morning and while I heated the water for breakfast, I met the Zen Canoeing Master. He was about 60 years old, balding with a ponytail. he was in a custom built We-No-Nah solo racing canoe that cost $4000 if it cost a dime. He was practicing his paddling techniques down by the boat ramp. He was impressed with our homemade canoes but chided me on the timing of the trip. "Two weeks ago, it would have been a ferry ride for you - the river was really flowing then. For the rest of the summer, it is going to be like swamp water, you are going to have to paddle for every foot of distance covered."

On those cheerful words, I woke up the boys, we ate, broke camp, and headed out.
Journal Entries

If we had really been at Champoeg, we would only have 18 miles left to cover, better than the 24 I had anticipated. After hours of paddling (most of it with Ryan playing Pilot Fish to my canoe's Shark) I saw this bridge and thought it was I-5. As we approached, I realized it was actually Highway 219, MILES upriver from I-5, and even worse, miles upriver from Champoeg. Who told me it was Champoeg? Ken, grandfather of the "special" Joshua who had led us astray on campsites the night before. Those two had to be agents of the devil placed in our paths to make us suffer.

Eventually, we oozed our way northward to a more populated area and came across a fisherman who, after admiring our hand built canoes, pointed us to the landing at Champoeg at river mile 45. We hadn't seen a river mile sign since mile 69 (which would have been childishly amusing if we hadn't been so g*ddamned tired.)

I gave up. I knew there was no way any of us could cover an additional 18 miles that day. I called my mom and she came and picked us up (yes, a 40 year old would-be adventurer called his mother to come take him home.) While we waited for extraction, I had the boys wrap up their journals of their experience.
Journal Entries

At the gas station - where the guys demanded we buy "greasy food, because we aren't used to that healthy stuff you make us eat!" I saw the Statesman Journal with our picture on the front (OK, it was in the upper corner as a teaser, but it was still in the front page.) I bought it and Cody and Ryan were ecstatic. The lady selling us yesterday's grease food was so pleased to have celebrities in her store she let the guys have free tootsie pops (which they licked twice, laid on the seats of my car, and fell asleep.)